


Android-Persocom Automate Manual : LU-FFY Unit

by scarlet_natsume (Scarlet_Natsume)



Category: One Piece
Genre: A bit vulgar, Androids, F/M, Harems, Het and Slash, M/M, Maintenance manual, Multi, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 00:56:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Natsume/pseuds/scarlet_natsume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are now having a LU-FFY unit in your hand. Here's the manual that you SHOULD read to your survival.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Android-Persocom Automate Manual : LU-FFY Unit

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer : One Piece isn't mine, and the fic idea too. I’ve seen in many fandoms fics about maintenance manual, and that’s interesting, so I want to try it out.
> 
> Note : This is an English version of my fic. If you’re an Indonesian and you want to read the indo version, you can read it in http://m.fanfiction.net/s/7404497/1/AndroidPersocom-Automate-Manual-LUFFY-unit

 

 

* * *

**ANDROID-PERSOCOM AUTOMATE MANUAL**

**O.P PROJECT**

**LU-FFY UNIT**

 

* * *

 

  
_Congratulation!_ You are now the proud owner of the LU-FFY unit, one of the P1R4Te product, and to be one of those people who have serious mental problems in the psychiatrists’ list because you have the wrong mind to _actually_ purchase this APA (Android-Persocom Automate) unit. Please read and paying close attention to this manual carefully, because a slight mistake in the use of this APA can probably make your life like in hell. And trust us, it's not a very good option.

 

* * *

**BASIC INFORMATION :**

  
**Name :** LU-FFY (Legacy Utility – Fist Fighter Yard).

**Category :** P1R4Te (Product [type1] Regal [type4] Technology).

**Date of manufacture :** Unknown.

**Place of manufacture :** Fusha.

**Age :** 17

**Hair color :** Raven.

**Eye color :** Black.

**Height :** Not tall and not short (just standard).

**Weight :** Normal, with exception of after his stomach filled.

 

* * *

 

**YOUR LU-FFY UNIT COMES WITH THE FOLLOWING ACCESSORY :**

1\. Clothes ; A red sleeveless vest, a short jersey, and sandals.

2\. A straw hat (we made it with real straws for security, so if you want to make a duplicate, it’s very advisable to use REAL straws as material. Or you can buy one from our company).

 

* * *

 

**UNPACKING YOUR UNIT :**

When you first take your LU-FFY unit out of the box, please don’t worry and don’t be afraid when it’s (or his) body parts elongate like stretchy rubber. This is just one of the programs that we’re implanted in his body. And also please understandable if the box is flooded with smelly liquid, this is normal symptom, it just means that so long your unit in the box without any food or ration has finally taken effects.

Be careful to not open the box in your kitchen (especially when you are cooking, it's FORBIDDEN) because he will flood your house with saliva and give you risk of starvation for several months.

 

* * *

 

**PROGRAMMING :**

LU-FFY unit is basically one of the P1R4Te products who have fighter and adventurer character. This unit has a cheerful nature that seems stupid, but loyal to those he considers friends, and fierce to the enemy and the people who hurt his friends. So make sure that you don’t make any trouble with the APA units of MU-G1War4 (Maintenance Utility - Generation [1] War [Type4]) package product, and he’ll perform as follow :

 

**Bodyguard :** With his incredible strength and his ability in martial arts, LU-FFY unit is capable of defeating just any kind enemy you may encounter, from blue thorn-nosed fishes who have an obsession to take over the seas to perverted black-bearded maniacs. And we advise to not make him to do any housework, or your house in ruins (a warning for you that they’re not included in our insurance).

 

**A refrigerator cleaner :** For those who want to get rid of the contents in the fridge for fear the stuffs stale or out of date because you will leave your house in a long time, this unit is very useful for cleaning your refrigerator. Just put your unit in front of the fridge, and then he will work by himself. **Beware to evacuate the necessary foods and drinks first.**

 

**Clothesline :** If you suddenly losing or needing a clothesline, this unit can replace it. Have your unit holding a pole with his right hand, and pull his left hand to the other pole, then you can freely hang your clothes without worrying blown by the wind or disturbed by wild animals, because this unit can also function as a scarecrow.

 

**Killer-machine:** This is a special program that we seriously advice you not to use unless it’s an emergency (example: some stupid idiot embarrass you by steals your underwear and runs away laughing madly. Or someone who hurt you physically or mentally), because this unit may not be able to control himself, his character is too sensitive in for that. Warning; This program will be automatically activated when it comes to AC3 unit. Therefore, if you've already hurt AC3 (either intentionally or unintentionally) we recommend to seek protection from S4-B0 units or SH4-NKS if you still love your life.

 

**Yaoi/hentai satisfier :** Meanwhile, this program is an extra program that you can easily install yourself. Provided for you one of those squealing, clingy, scary fans, who want to see straight, gay, or harem relationships. After finishing installation, you just release your unit for one or two minutes, and other units (example : B0A (who will come with 'love' icons everywhere), NA-M1 (likely come only to collect the debt), or AC3 (that will make the scene between them like a gay-incestuous relationship)) will soon coming to 'visit' which leads to scenes that make you nosebleed (the chance of harem certainly will reach up to 101%). Warning, this program involves moans, snoggings, kisses, and many other perverted activities. For those who his/her will not so strong but still insists to stay and watch, we’re highly recommend to prepare yourself boxes of tissues (which I doubt you won’t).

 

* * *

 

**RELATIONS WITH OTHER UNIT :**

  
**MU-G1War4 (Maintenance Utility – Generation [1] War [type4]) :** One of APA package in P1R4Te product. Consisting of Z0Ro (Zero Ronin), SAN-J1 (Servitude Artificial Network – Jar [type1]), NA-M1 (Network Accountant - Money [type1]), U550P (Utility [type550] Prepare), CH0-PP3R (Cooperation Hospital - Pass Prepare [type3] Regal), RoB-1N (Ronin Breaker – [type1] Network), FR4NK-Y (Fast Recreate [type4] Notification Key – Yuppie), dan BR-00K (Break Reaper – [type00] Ken). The units in this package are the unit for military purposes, and your unit’s important friends. The most dangerous package for you to bullied. Be warned once again, **don’t ever look any problem with these package or your unit will regard you as his enemy.** So if one fine day you wake up and find yourself dead the day after you 'bullied' them, please call us immediately. Although this is not included in our insurance form, we will gladly to arrange your funeral.

 

**AC3 (Ashes C3, explosion unit) :** This unit can be called the most dangerous among the most dangerous units for you, even the units from MU-G1War4 package alone can’t match him. If your unit sees this unit at your nearby very nicely, you will be welcomed to a warm closeness of contact between siblings, friends, perhaps even lovers (which of course will make the yaoi fans squealing and nose blooding). At first glance this unit look harmless, seem very polite and friendly, also quite handsome, though very overprotective. But never let your guard down, this unit can make your own unit goes to "Killer-Machine" mode and against you if your unit finds you threatening this unit, with the results of your home destroyed and you die. Or if AC3 unit think that you’re a threat to his brother, he will happily blow your house up and burn you alive. Either way, your house gets blown up and your life still leaving your body, so it is advisable that you don’t look any trouble with these two, no matter how much you want to control one of the two units .

 

**GA-RP (General Admiral - Rapture Post) :** One of unit types from ADMIRAL product, a rare products that made only one per unit type. This unit is the only one who makes your LU-FFY unit hesitates to interact with. Even the AC3 unit is helpless against this unit. If by chance your friend has a GA-RP unit, it’s advisable to ask for this unit’s protection when you become a target of your LU-FFY unit’s “killer-machine” mode. But of course don’t too expecting, as previously mentioned GA-RP unit is only produced one per unit alone, the chance of you know anyone who has this unit is 0.9999%.

 

**S4-B0 (Servitude [type4] – Bionic) :** This APA unit is classified in “Science” series of “Servitude” product.  One of the units that highly recommended to be used as a shield or a sacrifice. Aside from this unit is very important to your LU-FFY unit (you can make your LU-FFY unit become so feral and beat your enemies if you hide behind the S4-B0 unit), this unit is also one of those units that included in “units who can tame the LU-FFY unit” club. Everything in this unit is very normal, the most normal among our male units. If you ask our advice to buy another APA from our company, we’re so highly recommended you to order this unit.

 

**SH4-NKS (Sensory Hack [type4] – Notification Key Security) :** A rare unit that has more than two programming type. An unit who is included in Y0NYO package, a system security control unit package, part of P1R4Te product. One of those units that can tame the LU-FFY unit. Oh, and we forgot to mention in the accessory notification, the straw hat that worn by your LU-FFY unit was belonged to this unit. So if you accidentally losing your LU-FFY unit’s straw hat, it’s highly advisable to give a straw hat that has been worn by this unit to your unit if you want to replace it.

 

**M4K-INO (Mechanical [type4] Keeper – Intern Network Origin) :** A fatal unit who is become a control system of APA units that manufactured by our company. You can say that this unit is the “mother” of all units. A beautiful and angelic unit that even the GA-RP unit can’t help but don’t have the heart to against this unit. Is highly favored by the LU-FFY unit, even the AC3 unit is so bashful to her. If you want to order this unit, we’re sorry to announce that this unit is “off limits”. We only make one piece of this unit, and it’s not for sale.  

 

**B0A (Bionic Alteration) :** One of the SH1-CHIBUKAI, the “king” unit package of P1R4Te product. A queen who is the most beautiful one among the units that we made, the most powerful among our female units, the most seductive, sexiest, and has the worst character and temper ever. A men hater, with exception of LU-FFY. For you, male costumers, we’re very suggested not to buy this unit unless you also purchase or already have a LU-FFY unit. Should you still insist to wanting have this unit without a LU-FFY unit in your hand, you will surely feel that it’s better to have an IV4N-KOV (Intern Virtuality [type4] Network – Key Of Visualization) unit rather than to have this unit.

 

* * *

 

**MAINTENANCE :**

The LU-FFY unit is a unit that very easy to maintain. You just tell him to take a bath, and he will do it himself. You don’t have to help him, LU-FFY is capable of doing this job his own. No peeking during process, please, especially when the AC3 unit is nearby.

Your unit can dry himself and dressed his own. Once again, he doesn’t need help in doing it. And NO, still no peeking, please, especially if there’s an AC3 unit nearby.

Recharging is a very serious challenge for you. LU-FFY is very profuse in using his energy, and for recharging his energy you **need so many delicious food, preferably meat, in a party portion (aka A LOT, we tell you)**. Don’t ever make him SO VERY HUNGRY, or you will become his prey because of extreme meat hallucination.

 

* * *

 

**TROUBLE SHOOTING :**

Your LU-FFY is included in the category of ‘almost perfect’ unit, if it’s not because of his wasting energy that God forbid!! This unit will not have any problems that can interfere with his function. But you can take him to the CH0-PP3R unit just for check up.

 

* * *

 

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION :**

  
**Q :** My LU-FFY glared at me since yesterday, and he give out an aura that make me unable to move! What should I do!!

**A :** This situation is VERY VERY URGENT. Your LU-FFY unit gives out a mysterious-energy-thingy called HAKI, and it means your unit is entering “killer-machine”mode. Your chance of escaping is very slim. This mode usually appears when you create a problem with the AC3 unit or the units of MU-G1War4. You better apologize immediately to any unit that you “bullied”, and to your unit. If you don’t know your problem, we suggested you to run immediately and seek for shelter from S4-B0 or SH4-NKS. There’s no doubt that their ability to “tame the dog” will protect you (assume that you make it in time).

 

**Q :** I’ve seen the hat that my LU-FFY unit wore has worn. Is it alright if I throw it away?

**A :** Warning. DON’T EVER THROW THE STRAW HAT AWAY IN WHATEVER SITUATION AND CONDITION! The LU-FFY unit very treasures his straw hat more than he to his own life. Don’t ever think to putting **your** life and that straw hat on the same scale. Your unit will not hesitate to sent you to the hell (and I mean **HELL** , literary) if you do anything that threatening his straw hat. So once again, DON’T EVER!

 

**Q :** Well… my friend is about to throw a big party in his house, and I want to take my LU-FFY to the party. Is there any restrictions that should I obey? 

**A :** Retriction? No, not at all! There’s no any restriction that keep you! Except maybe… you need warn your friend to cook or carted three times of the amount of food that should they served. You’re free to take him anywhere! And for the party, let’s just say that it’s his expertise. Your LU-FFY unit can make any party become so very wild.

 

**Q :** Anou… *blushes hard* you see, I like Luffy-chan so much… is there any way to seduce him?

**A :** Err… well… you can use any way to seduce him, but the problem is he is the most OBLIVIOUS among the other units. No matter how hard you try to seduce him, he won’t understand your intention. Besides, you must aware of a certain Android Queen that will tear you to shreds for daring to seduce her “groom”.

 

**Q :** Why the hell does this LU-FFY unit have to put up with the AC3 unit in slash relationship? I want to see something else, like R0G3R x LU-FFY x TE4-CH!!

**A :** WHAT THE…! Err… cough… actually there’s no problem you want to paired your LU-FFY unit with any units you like, it’s just… First, the AC3 unit is very overprotective and over-possessive to the LU-FFY unit. Second, the AC3 unit is VERY DISLIKE the R0G3R unit, and SO REALLY EXTREMELY VERY HATE the TE4-CH unit. Third, combine these two statements that we mentioned before in addition to explosions and burning fire multiplied by your house and your life. Fourth, the Head of the company practically fanatics the AceLuffy pairing. If you want to see another pair, please don’t with R0G3R, and VERY EXTREMELY not with TE4-CH, understand? We won’t responsible for any damage if you’re not paying attention to our warning.

 

**Q :** Why does my unit have to be an uke in slash or het sex? I want LU-FFY become seme!

**A :** If you understand about LU-FFY unit characteristic, you must be know that LU-FFY is an unit that very innocent and clueless about sex. We have a record of a case about some costumer forced their LU-FFY unit to become the dominant in sex, please watch this tape and you’ll understand what we’re trying to say.

\--

_(VIDEO PLAY…_

_[Seen a room contains the LU-FFY unit that surrounded by B0A, NA-M1, SHIR4-H05HI, AC3, Z0Ro, RoB-1N, SAN-J1, and SH4-NKS, who are naked]_

_Costumer voice from speaker : Come on, Luffy-kun!! Show your skills!! Show us your wildness in sex!! Come on!_

_LU-FFY : (silent) ……….._

_B0A : (squirming like a virgin) Co-come, Luffy… I’m ready._

_NA-M1 : (glared at camera) If you’re not pay me after this…_

_SAN-J1 : (weird dancing like a crazy + heart eyes + little hurricane mode on) Kyaaaaaaaaa~! Finally! Finally I can see Nami-chwaaaan naked! (noseblood exploded)_

_Z0Ro : (stoic) Stupid._

_Costumer (via speaker) : (sweatdrop as they watching) Yeah, yeah. We will pay you later, Nami-chan._

_SH1R4-H05HI : (shyly) Um… is still long…? I’m a mermaid… I can’t live so long without water…_

_Costumer (via speaker) : Luffy, come on!! Get them now!! Give us a good hardcore porn movie!!_

_RoB-1N : (not interested and prefer read her book)_

_AC3 : (narcolepsy mode on)_

_SH4-NKS : (smiling like a maniac)_

_LU-FFY : (turn his head to the camera) Nee…_

_Costumer (via speaker) : What?_

_LU-FFY : (tilt his head with an innocent aura) What is sex?_

_Costumer, B0A, NA-M1, SAN-J1, Z0Ro : (fall anime-style)_

_AC3 : (snot bubble popped, suddenly awake) Wh-what? What’s happened?_

_SH4-NKS : (laughing and rolling on the floor)_

_Costumer & NA-M1 : (rise up) WHAT THE HELL?!_

_Z0Ro & SAN-J1 : (rise and facepalm) Baka._

_B0A : ( TT-TT)_

_RoB-1N : (shake her head and smiles knowingly)_

_…VIDEO STOP)_

_\--_

And well… now you see it, right? This is just a glimpse of the video. We do not air it in full time video because the video’s rating has exceeded reasonable limits. If you want to see the full video, email us and we will send it to you personally.

 

* * *

 

**GUARANTEE :**

LU-FFY unit has one year warranty. And no, we mean is not warranty for your unit’s repair, but for your house. The LU-FFY unit is an unit that’s very aggressive, and It’s not surprising if we hear a lot of complaints about house damage from our costumers. If you don’t want to keep him in your house anymore due to stress and fear, just give one of the units in MU-G1War4 a call and he/she/they will come right away to take your unit away from you.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse my english and grammar... I'm just a beginner.


End file.
